The Honcho Awards, April 5th, 2011

Ugh, what a damnable game last night. Or, damnable in the way it played out, not damnable in the way it made me look like a damn savant. But there’s a time and a place to toot my own horn, like with every other post, but not this one. This one’s for tooting the horns of others, like…

– Wayne Rooney, who scored a hat trick in bringing Man U back from 2-0 down in the last 25 minutes to win 4-2 against West Ham. And then he swore at the camera (above) and was suspended for two games. Maybe the guy just needs to play pissed to thrive. He’s struggled all year… is it any coincidence that the first time we see that patented fire from the ginger ninja he scores a hat trick and wins a Honcho Award? I think not.

– Jaime Garcia, who threw a complete game, 4-hit shutout in helping St. Louis salvage something from their opening weekend series vs. San Diego with a 2-0 win. Picking right up where he left off last year, when he was named a starter on Baseball America’s 2010 All-Rookie Team. Oh, except now he’s got himself a Honcho Award.

– Roberto Soldado, who dropped four goals on Getafe in Valencia’s 4-2 win. Yeah, that’s four goals, and that’s pretty much guaranteed to win yourself a Honcho Award. And pulling it off against your former team? The proverbial icing on the cake, even if nowadays it has to be s0y-based on a gluten-free cake.

– Mike Smith, who had himself a 31-save shutout in Tampa Bay’s 2-0 win over Chicago. Not bad for a backup. Perhaps we should play him a little more, Tampa Bay, whaddya think? And look at his wicked fro! I just had to use his profile pic. I haven’t seen a white boy fro that sweet since some 1970’s era TV show.

– Edinson Cavani, who scored a hat trick in Napoli’s 4-3 come-from-behind win over Lazio. This kiddo’s making quite the name for himself… Serie A top scorer, foreign, multi-time Honcho Award winner. Pony up, big boys, he won’t be coming cheap.

– Ryan Hanigan, who went 4-4 with 2 homers, 4 RBI’s and 4 runs scored in Cincinnati’s 12-3 beatdown of the Brewers. And that’s the way to start the season, oldest franchise in American professional sports. A three-game sweep of the awesomely named Brewers. Only 159 more to go! Yay baseball!

– Juan Pablo Colinas, who stopped 13 shots as Sporting Gijon shocked Real Madrid at the Bernabeu, 1-0. It’s the first league game Real Madrid manager, the Special One Jose Mourinho, has lost at home in nine years. And it comes at the hands of little Sporting Gijon, led by the unbelievable efforts of their goalkeeper.

– Derrick Rose, who scored 36 rebounds and dropped 10 dimes in Chicago’s 113-106 win over sorry Toronto. He’s certainly making his case for MVP, that hotly debated award that basically means nothing, especially against the blinding light of a Honcho Awards, of which he’s now into the “many” category. Good for him. Good for him.

– Diego Costa, who scored a hat trick in Atletico Madrid’s 3-2 win over Osasuna. AKA Diego da Silva Costa, which is actually less convoluted than most Brazilian nicknaming standards, thus making info and pictures easier to find. Thank you, Diego Costa, for sticking to something resembling reason when applying your moniker. Oh, and congratulations!

– Brennan Boesch, who went 4-4 with a homer, 4 RBI’s and 3 runs scored in helping the Tigers beat the big, bad Yankees 10-7. And here’s another of last year’s stellar rookies making a quick start to the new season, even if he was sort of plugged in as a last-minute replacement at DH. That’s a way to make a mark youngster! Winning a Honcho! Can’t do it better than that.

And there you have it loyal Honchoans. Debate! Discuss! Deciper, in some cases!


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